i keep getting anons bitching at me about deleting them from facebook but I didn’t guys shit i deleted the account relax here you go http://facebook.com/universalsigh

so go write things on my wall so it looks like i have friends

text them heyyy (yes with three y's) what are you doing? or better yet where are you? then ask them to come over- bum a cig-sex it up, and youre done! easy peazy

ugh that sounds like a lot of work

by which I mean holy shit I’m so nervous

(via iwantyoursoda)

How do you tell someone that you’re totally down to fuck even though you’ve been way too lazy to actually go fuck them for… like, I don’t know, months, and also you’ve gotten a little fatter since the last time and hey can you bum a cig?

while still being attractive to them, I mean. That’s the challenge. The first part I’ve pretty much already got down pat.

(via bisonmilk)